Arseface.

Am I dimmer everyday, am I just a little glimmer;
Like a tiny bobbing head of a tiny ocean swimmer?
Olly olly oxen free.
Can you see me?

Am I dimmer everyday?
Am I shrinking, am I shrinking?
Do you recognize my thoughts?
Do you care what I am thinking?
Olly olly oxen free.
Can you see me?

Dimmer; Bishop Allen

xxx

Hello my dear,

I get that I haven't had the guts to say anything. I haven't had the guts and I've been hiding. But I'm still here and the reason why I avoid you, is because I'm not ready for you to want to avoid me too. I do the most idiotic things, like fly out of doors, fall down, gasp really loudly and get stuck at door knobs while you're around. And it doesn't make it any less idiotic that I run away. It doesn't make me smart. I make stupid decisions when I need to be smartest.
But, this doesn't mean I'm an idiot.

Yes, I get that I'm competition. You don't like losing to me, and trust me, you haven't. Somehow your tutorial kinda got messed up. You still managed to beat me at every quiz. And I thought you were so cute when you found out you beat me by 2 points in that last quiz. It flatters to know you refuse to lose to me. Of all people, because it shows that you care how you look in the long run. Especially next to me.

So how does this work?

I'm young. I'm turning 18. I'm young.
I can afford to have my heart broken. I can afford to be bold. I can afford to do as wish, because I am young. And when you're young, you can be free.
I'm allowed to be passionate about things.
I'm allowed to laugh at complete nothing-ness and make fun of my boobs when I can't button my top. I get to be forward about things.

And I will be. Because I am young, and Teva will totally have my back if you don't.
I am young. I've had shit happen to me. I'll survive.

Love, Trish.

xox, trish