Saturday, May 30, 2009

Romeo, Save Me. I've been feeling so alone.

I haven't blogged in ages. Honestly, if I wasn't paying for my domain, I probably wouldn't.

So, here's a picture.

Heart Rod, I'll beat you with my Heart Rod. That's a fancy name for 'heart on a stick'. Yeah, I got my heart on a stick.
Where's yours?

OH YOU DON'T HAVE ONE.
HAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA.

xox, trish

Friday, May 29, 2009

I want to cry.
I want to curl up into a little ball and just cry.


Friday, May 22, 2009

Time Didn't Stop

I can blog because the right music is playing and I'm feeling just serene.

I haven't felt this way in a long time.

xxx

I love the weekends. My best friend stays online till late and we talk about everything :)
She's been asking me to blog about her for a long long time and I believe I've done so a couple of times before. But as she requested again, here you go Tevava.
:)

Lets go back to when we first met, I was so small and so were you. We were both lil shorties. You were in red and I was in purple. We came to school really early for sports practice, since we were such goody-two-shoes.

I said "Hi" and so did you.
I asked your name and repeated it.
You said I was the only one who's gotten it right on the first go. You also told me a lot of your friends call you "Teh-Vah-Nia". But they fail.

That's not your name.

It's "Tee-Va-Nee-Ah"
But you know that, don't you?

Yup.

I think you used to think I was annoying. You were right, I was. :D
So annoying. But you still invited me to your birthday parties and talked to me online every night.

We became rather close.

Like most people, you learned to like me as soon as you got to know me. Unlike a lot of people, you gave yourself and me, the chance to get to know each other. You believed that there was more to me than meets the eye.

Tevava is an oddball. In school, she didn't have any Indian girlfriends. So she hung out with the Chinese students. The Chinese students from other classes always wondered why we were so different. Our class was one tight group, consisting of Chinese, Indian, Malay, Siamese, Indonesian. A lot of us weren't even pure. We didn't swear in Cantonese or have dyed hair, we were pretty smart too and the teachers, they loved us.

From my last two years of high school, I realized that despite whatever mentalities there were, based on religion or race or culture, people should generally be able to get along. I did it. I did it just fine.

Mind, Teva used to piss me off. We'd fight. Except our fights were more like cold wars. I wouldn't speak, neither would she. Even if we did, we never looked at each other.
The funny thing is, we never used to be fighting with each other. She'd be upset over something at home or something with her boyfriend and vice versa. But we'd end up punishing each other. Hence the cold wars.

Teva was never pissed off with me to the point where we totally hated each other. In that sense,I guess we never really fought.

We're totally different.
She's the practical girl, that wants to be an engineer or study pharmacy, and I'm not so practical, wanting to sing, dance, act and speak.
However, we're equally sarcastic and cynical, we like the same music and take it very seriously. I also think she's more Chinese than I am.

Teva likes me for who I am. Of course, it's much easier for her to like me because she's so weird herself. We're often outcasts. But of course I've always managed to fit in a little better than her, as the people in school would discriminate. But it never changed anything, because I'd choose to spend time with her over anyone else, anytime of the day.

Teva likes Nasi Lemak and Magnum Ice-Cream and Claypot Yee Mee. She's extremely picky with her food. She laughs funny and she always has a cold during exams. She likes to hit people at random, just because she feels like it.
It would hurt. A lot.
Plus, she likes to draw on people's hands. Especially mine.
I've seen her drool.
Teva doesn't eat beef, or pork and she doesn't like pan mee. The girl would rather starve than come over for pan mee when she's hungry.
She can be lazy too, she'd rather starve then drive to KFC, park her car, get off the car and go eat. She's a difficult person to handle but that's what makes her special and that's why I love her.

Knowing I can handle her pretty well, knowing what to say when she's sad and what she likes to eat and where she'll hit me, makes it much easier for me.
Mind you, it wasn't always easy, I've paid the price for having a best friend like her, and I've done my time. She's the kind of person you need to really get to know because it would be a waste if you didn't.

I want to watch Transformers and eat lolo/cendol/ABC with her.
I visit her in college and she drives me home. I'm so glad we're so nearby.
Plus her friends are cute :) YAYFORME.

I syg Tevava bykbyk.

So, here's to my best friend forever :)

Hahahaha.

xox, trish

Monday, May 18, 2009

Strike One : You Missed.

You know how it feels to drown?

Well, I don't.

I know how it feels to feel like you're dying from drowning, but I don't know how it's like to drown.

According to Wikipedia, "drowning is death as caused by suffocation when a liquid causes interruption of the body's absorption of oxygen from the air leading to asphyxia." I believe, in drowning, there should be some struggling involved.
My experience with drowning was rather, smooth. I was pushed into the deep end of the swimming pool and I sank to the bottom. I managed to keep whatever breath I had left in me and I sat on the floor of the swimming pool. My legs crossed, my body rigid and my mind blank.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die.
Mine didn't.
Maybe I was still too young to remember any bits of my life, maybe I didn't have a life, or maybe, maybe I just knew I wasn't going to die.

The logical person would push herself off the floor and try to swim. I guess I wasn't very logical. I sat there and I waited instead.

I waited for someone to save me and no one came. They were probably hoping I'd save myself. After all, that's why they pushed me in the first place.

Soon enough, my dad came. My brothers were scolded for doing what they did.

They tried to get me to swim. To at least fight for my life. I didn't.
My dad made sure I was okay, but I wish he didn't have to. Little did I know that I'd need people to save me time and time again.

I was very young, very small and very scared.
But I wish I had tried a little harder.

I never learned how to swim after that.

Now there's a glimmer of regret.

What am I good for again?

xxx

Teva :(
I need you.
xox, trish

Saturday, May 9, 2009

I really shouldn't miss you, but I can't let you go.

Hello world!
Today I met Eri. She's Cindy's friend. Also, Yuen helped me fully crack my phone so now it's DONE :D

However, when I turn it on, it's not longer an Apple. It's a pineapple. HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA.

But I can update my firmware and download third party applications too.
SO wheeee! I'm so happy :D
Ureshiii.

What else? I'm gonna cut my hair, curl and highlight my hair tomorrow!
Yay, all over again. :D

Eeeh, did you know today is a good day?
I need to replace my simcard.

JEREMY GAN SHANG-ZHE. I miss you.

WHEN YOU COMING BACK TO MEEE?

xxx

Eun-chan going to Japan. So nice :D

I wanna go shopping~
Okay, so I'm in an uber happy mood today.

Don't you wanna be happy tooooo ?

Okay, I go now, byebye.
Look for me in an alternate reality, I'll be happier there. :) and you'll totally love me.

xox, trish

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

5th of May

A very Happy Cinco the Mayo,
and a very Happy Birthday to

Daddy
&
Jared!

Yep yep, their birthday's fall on the same day.

:)

So, Happy Birthday!

xox, trish

Saturday, May 2, 2009

iyaaaaaaaahn~!

Hello!
I went to a wedding today :D
People in love and getting married, oh how fun. The food was good. That's all about the wedding. I'm not a big fan of packed weddings under the hot sun.

Following the wedding was dinner with my friends from high school. I can't call it a class gathering because it's not solely classmates. Chin Han, Amanda and Ambiga came along too. I enjoyed myself very much!

We spent so much time catching up and talking and laughing and taking pictures. Oh I miss my friends :D

Next up, I'm going out with Chin Han and Amy for "we're so bored because we have no lives" bonding. Hahaha. Chin Han drove me home. :)

xxx

Ohkay, note to self. Yes, this is a soliloquy.

TRISHA TEO. LET ME TELL YOU.

YOU'VE MADE TONS OF PROMISES TO YOURSELF. CAREER BEFORE FAMILY, SUCCESS BEFORE MARRIAGE. DON'T. I REPEAT, DO NOT, LET ANYONE COME IN THE WAY OF THAT DREAM.

YOU SHALL NOT GET KNOCKED UP AND MARRIED AT THE AGE OF 20. YOU WILL BE EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. YOU WILL DEPEND ON YOURSELF. YOU WILL NOT NEED A HUSBAND TO RELY ON. YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

YOU SILLY GIRL, EASILY DISTRACTED BY THE TINIEST THINGS, SO AFRAID OF FALLING SHORT AND FALLING DOWN. YOU. ARE. NOT. THAT. GIRL.

YOU DESERVE A CAREER. YOU DESERVE SUCCESS. BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE DRIVE AND THE DESIRE.

Honestly, you'll look back on your life and FUCKING REGRET, if you let yourself down. AND TRUST ME, YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE 50 AND WONDERING WHY YOU DIDN'T PUSH YOURSELF AND DO BETTER.
You don't want to regret.

So please, please please please, don't forget your dreams and the promises you made to yourself. Also, please remain the same, be yourself. You're good enough. So what if the boy hurt you and up and left the freaking country, he's just fallen short. You're better than that.

I don't want to look back and realize I've made a mistake.

I DON'T, SO YOU CAN'T.


xox, trish